Este es mi regalo para ustedes en esta ocasión tan especial del año. Lo mas bello y valioso que puedo ofrecerles. Mis palabras, mis historias. El pedazo de mi cerebro que desde niño me pedian.
A algunos de ustedes les parecera una mariquera este email. Sobretodo viniendo de mí, ajaja. Quizá no lo entiendan pero no importa, siempre nos llegan cadenas con saludos amistosos y vaina, pero no me tomo nunca la molestia de reenviarlas a menos de que sea una vaina bien de pinga. Hoy simplemente decidí aprovechar estas celebraciones del año para escribirles un sentido saludo a la gente que he conocido jeje.
Con la mayoría de ustedes no he tratado mucho (con alguno que otro ni siquiera he tratado directamente). No nos conocemos mucho tampoco y quizá no hemos compartido mucho. Pero hemos compartido y eso es lo que a mi me importa. Usteden saben que yo estoy medio loco, y le doy mucho valor a las cosas. Muchos de ustedes no se imaginan cuanto significan para mi, aún aquellos de los que no necesariamente tengo una buena opinión. Pero lo que una persona es, es independiente de lo que significa en tu vida.
Yo nunca me he sentido como 'aquí pertenezco, estoy entre los míos', y la gente tampoco me percibe mucho como perteneciente a su clica. Tranquilos, siempre ha sido así, soy extraño de nacimiento y es para mí una gran fortuna (sí, también tiene sus malas vainas pero tengo el masoquismo y visión suficientes para tripearmelas la mayor parte del tiempo). En cuanto a ustedes, no sé que opinión tendrán unos u otros de mí, puede ser buena o no tanto, pero eso es irrelevante en lo que concierne a esta carta. Les escribo porque me los tripeo. Son tan parte de mi historia como yo lo soy de las suyas, y eso es un lazo tan fuerte, tan irrompible, que no creo que pueda deshacerse. Amig@s o traidores, simples conocid@s o amantes, adoradores o detractores, estamos en este peo juntos, aunque cada quien esté en su peo a la vez.
Tengo recuerdos de cada uno de ustedes ¿se dan cuenta de lo arrecho que es eso? Dicho de otra manera diría que existe almacenada en algun lugar de mi mente y mi cerebro una imagen (o más) de ustedes asociada(s) a diversos instantes de realidad que compartimos. Hemos disfrutado, hemos maltripeado, whatever... hemos compartido.
Quizá precisamente por mi extrañeza es que aprecio tanto el compartir con la gente (con todo lo hermitaño que soy) porque aunque como dije, nunca me siento entre los mios, y admito que muchas veces la gente que me rodea no me inspira sentimientos gratos, el mero encuentro con otra mente es algo tan peculiar (podría decir psicótico y estupendo, pero sería muy ambiguo y perturbador) para mí, que es para tripearmelo; y como es poco lo que logro realmente compartir con otros, lo poco que comparto con otros lo disfruto bastante, así sea una tontería.
Es por eso que decidí escribirles sin importar si somos muy cercanos o apenas hemos cruzado palabra. Es una cuestion meramente de un ser humano en reunion con otros, mostrando un poco de como es por dentro a otros. Cada quien tome de la experiencia lo que pueda y quiera. Para algunos esta carta puede ser nula, o bien puede ser perturbadora, reflexiva, conmovedora, o cursi. Eso se debe en gran parte a que ustedes son un grupo conformado por personas distintas con distintas percepciones del mundo y por lo tanto de mi. Y eso es lo curioso porque si cada persona es percibida de manera distinta por distintas personas, es porque lo que percibimos no es necesariamente quien es esa persona, sino nuestra relacion con ella. Este es mi pana, esta es mi jeva, este es el culo que me estoy tirando (o que me quiero tirar), este es el doctor que me está atendiendo, el indigente tirado en el piso muriendose y obstaculizando mi paso, el profesor que me está dando clases, el jefe que me está pagando (y ladillando), el cabron que de vaina hace que me choque, mi abuela, mis primos, el protagonista de la novela de las 9 del canal 666, juan pablo II, cristobal colón, jesu cristo, hitler, cantinflas. Somos personas, que significa literalmente mascaras. Y en ese nivel es que normalmente nos manejamos. De alguna manera caemos en eso de que 'nadie conoce a nadie', no porque las mascaras con las que nos identificamos no sean reales, sino porque son meros roles. La persona verdadera está intimamente oculta, en la conciencia de cada uno de nosotros. Es algo así como una morrocoya. Quizá por eso resulta tan perturbador cuando alguien se muestra más allá de su rol, porque yo tambien me sentiría perturbado si viese una morrocoya fuera de su caparazón. ¿Pueden imaginarse como se siente una morrocoya sin caparazon? Es como si no tuvieramos piel sino todos los musculos y venas expuestos. Es como para lanzarse en una piscina de alcohol.
En fin, solo me queda por decirles que se les aprecia, y desearles una gran travesía. Espero volver a compartir con ustedes alguna vez.
Gracias, y hasta la próxima.
Abraham C.
Ciudad, XXXI dec, 3141592653589793238462643383279517688832838 A.T.
Abraham envió su último correo desde el pequeño terminal provisto para tal fin. Se levantó, caminó hasta la guillotina y puso su cabeza en el marco. Mientras la guillotina descendía, despertaba en su mente un recuerdo muy lejano, su primer recuerdo, el día más hermoso y feliz de su vida, a partir del cual empezó a tener memoria. Pero justo cuando lo iba a recordar con claridad, la guillotina sesgó su cuello y en sus últimos instantes solo vio como el mundo giraba y giraba y se acercaba cada vez más hacia su rostro hasta golpearlo violentamente. Como era costumbre en las celebraciones de estas fechas, los niños se turnaban pateando la cabeza del psicópata ejecutado a ver quién la llegaba más lejos. El ganador era paseado en hombros por Ciudad, y tendría un año lleno de salud y abundancia.
FIN
Escrito por Jacob Noriega, el 30 de diciembre de 2007, como obsequio a toda la humanidad y muy especialmente a aquellos que estan en su mente. Muchísimas gracias, sin ustedes este pequeño cuento no existiría.
El título, es en homenaje a la novela "Invitacion a una decapitación", escrita por Vladimir Nabokov. Aunque no la he leído, quise escribir esto inspirado en lo único que conozco sobre ella, el título.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
A la mierda (Echando a los mercaderes del templo para inmolarse con un striptease)
Mandar todo a la mierda. ¿Alguna vez lo has hecho?
No. Si estás leyendo esto, no has mandado todo a la mierda.
Yo he querido hacerlo, pero como tú, soy un adicto. Y aún hay gente que me pregunta como sé que no moriré todavía.
Pero ahorita, quiero mandar varias cosas a la mierda. De hecho, me provoca volver a mi cueva, o incluso, irme a la Cueva Eterna.
A ti, a tu lloriquera, a tu lamentadera, tus berrinches, los quiero mandar a la mierda. Para ti no hay vida despues del amor. Y todo te lo haces a ti misma. No, no culpes a mas nadie. Eres adicta a tu tormento. En el fondo te gusta. Lo digo porque lo he vivido. Cada ladrón juzga por su condición. Y lo siento, sabes. No diré que trato de hacer el menor daño posible, porque aunque lo intento, no creo en eso, la experiencia me dice que no es necesariamente lo mejor. Quise hacerte un daño. Sí. Con la intención de que reaccionaras coño, no de que te hundieras más. Pero ya eso queda de tu parte. Tampoco soy quien para lanzarte la primera piedra. ¿o ya lo hice? Pero así como mando a la mierda todas esas cosas, quiero que sepas que si hubiese podido ser distinto, si hubiese podido salir mejor, me hubiese gustado. Pero algunas historias son escritas así, retorcidas (y tu yo bien sabemos eso, amiga mía). Y aunque quizá no valga nada para tí, deseo pedirte disculpas por... por ser tan torpe. Sé que aparentemente falté a varias de mis promesas. A todos nos pasa. Supongo que somos más humanos de lo que nos gustaría. Pero no mentía. Decía lo que mi ser me decía que dijera. Y cuando me dijo que dijera lo contrario, también lo dije. Gracias por todo, de corazón. Tú llegaste hasta donde nadie más llegó. Y tu eres la única persona a quien le he dado lo que te di. Y no fue un dar por dar, porque estabas allí. Te lo dí porque lo merecías. Te lo dí porque lo anhelabas. Te lo dí porque lo pediste. Darte más, no estaba en mí. Además ¿Para qué querías más dolor? Ya tienes suficiente.
Ahora a tí. A tu arrechera contra todo, tu eterna insatisfacción, tu intento de cinismo, de antiparabolismo, cuando en realidad no puedes moverte en ninguna dirección sin que te duela, tambien los mando a la mierda. No me malinterpretes, sabes que hay facetas tuyas que desprecio profundamente, pero sabes que hay otras que valoro, o no hablaría contigo en los términos en que hablamos. Prueba otras caras tú también. Pero a ti tampoco te puedo lanzar la primera piedra.
A tí, coño, tu orgullo. El orgullo hace a la gente actuar o como víctimas o como sobrados, y las dos son actitudes poco inteligentes. Y no es que yo carezca de actitudes poco inteligentes, ajajaj. Tengo facetas bastante torpes. Pero que coño ¿quien no las tiene? ¿Quien va a tirar la primera piedra?
A ti, simplemente te mando a la mierda. Por desinteresado.
A ti, amigo mio. Sabes que de ti paso todo, pero vamos a estar claros, sabes que hay vainas tuyas que me sacan la piedra. Te gusta mucho la tierra de Cucaña, y eso te debilita. Te resta carácter. Y no seré yo quien mandé eso a la mierda. Eso te lo dejo a ti.
A los que no menciono aquí, no se sientan ofendidos. La lista es larga y tampoco es la idea ponerme de San Nicolás.
Pero falta alguien, la persona a le que tengo más mierda que mandarle a la mierda.
Yo. :)
En "El Silencio de los Inocentes" cuando el Dr. Lecter le hace un "rápido análisis" a Clarice, ésta le contesta algo así como "¿es usted capaz de enfocar tan aguda percepción hacia usted mismo?"
. Siempre me da risa esa parte. ¿Ustedes que creen? ¿Es Clarice ingenua al hacer esa pregunta? ¿O sabe muy bien la respuesta y simplemente responde con el mejor golpe que puede dar?
Yo. Yo tambien tengo mi adicción. Mis berrinches. Tambien soy mucho más vulnerable de lo que admito. ¿Con actitudes poco inteligentes? Aquí entre nos, yo creo que nadie ha logrado ver las cosas que yo he visto. Y esto me hace sentirme superior en cierta forma. Pero muchas veces me siento casi autista, y siento que hay cosas que cualquiera vería que yo no logro ver. O que logro ver despues de un lapso de tiempo que me parece ridículo. Pero quizá eso nos pasa a todos. Igual, eso demuestra que quandoque bonus dormitat Homerus, y que tengo mi talón de Aquiles también. ¿Carácter? Todavía me falta que jode. Me toca mandareso a la mierda a mi tambien. Y muchas cosas más. Algunas ustedes las saben. Otras ya las dije si no las sabían. Del resto se enterarán si deben enterarse. Como por ejemplo, de que soy un snob. Pero recuerden que lo cortés no quita lo valiente y no porque el gato ladre deja de ser gato. O sea, no caigan en falacias ad hominen.
¿Saben que puede resultar extremadamente placentero? No, no hablaba de eso. El momento cuando terminas de vomitar y sientes una paz corporal y espiritual incomparable. Eso sí, recuerda que si vomitaste algo, es porque estuvo dentro de ti.
Soy un espejo. Si me ves, ¿me rompo?
No. Si estás leyendo esto, no has mandado todo a la mierda.
Yo he querido hacerlo, pero como tú, soy un adicto. Y aún hay gente que me pregunta como sé que no moriré todavía.
Pero ahorita, quiero mandar varias cosas a la mierda. De hecho, me provoca volver a mi cueva, o incluso, irme a la Cueva Eterna.
A ti, a tu lloriquera, a tu lamentadera, tus berrinches, los quiero mandar a la mierda. Para ti no hay vida despues del amor. Y todo te lo haces a ti misma. No, no culpes a mas nadie. Eres adicta a tu tormento. En el fondo te gusta. Lo digo porque lo he vivido. Cada ladrón juzga por su condición. Y lo siento, sabes. No diré que trato de hacer el menor daño posible, porque aunque lo intento, no creo en eso, la experiencia me dice que no es necesariamente lo mejor. Quise hacerte un daño. Sí. Con la intención de que reaccionaras coño, no de que te hundieras más. Pero ya eso queda de tu parte. Tampoco soy quien para lanzarte la primera piedra. ¿o ya lo hice? Pero así como mando a la mierda todas esas cosas, quiero que sepas que si hubiese podido ser distinto, si hubiese podido salir mejor, me hubiese gustado. Pero algunas historias son escritas así, retorcidas (y tu yo bien sabemos eso, amiga mía). Y aunque quizá no valga nada para tí, deseo pedirte disculpas por... por ser tan torpe. Sé que aparentemente falté a varias de mis promesas. A todos nos pasa. Supongo que somos más humanos de lo que nos gustaría. Pero no mentía. Decía lo que mi ser me decía que dijera. Y cuando me dijo que dijera lo contrario, también lo dije. Gracias por todo, de corazón. Tú llegaste hasta donde nadie más llegó. Y tu eres la única persona a quien le he dado lo que te di. Y no fue un dar por dar, porque estabas allí. Te lo dí porque lo merecías. Te lo dí porque lo anhelabas. Te lo dí porque lo pediste. Darte más, no estaba en mí. Además ¿Para qué querías más dolor? Ya tienes suficiente.
Ahora a tí. A tu arrechera contra todo, tu eterna insatisfacción, tu intento de cinismo, de antiparabolismo, cuando en realidad no puedes moverte en ninguna dirección sin que te duela, tambien los mando a la mierda. No me malinterpretes, sabes que hay facetas tuyas que desprecio profundamente, pero sabes que hay otras que valoro, o no hablaría contigo en los términos en que hablamos. Prueba otras caras tú también. Pero a ti tampoco te puedo lanzar la primera piedra.
A tí, coño, tu orgullo. El orgullo hace a la gente actuar o como víctimas o como sobrados, y las dos son actitudes poco inteligentes. Y no es que yo carezca de actitudes poco inteligentes, ajajaj. Tengo facetas bastante torpes. Pero que coño ¿quien no las tiene? ¿Quien va a tirar la primera piedra?
A ti, simplemente te mando a la mierda. Por desinteresado.
A ti, amigo mio. Sabes que de ti paso todo, pero vamos a estar claros, sabes que hay vainas tuyas que me sacan la piedra. Te gusta mucho la tierra de Cucaña, y eso te debilita. Te resta carácter. Y no seré yo quien mandé eso a la mierda. Eso te lo dejo a ti.
A los que no menciono aquí, no se sientan ofendidos. La lista es larga y tampoco es la idea ponerme de San Nicolás.
Pero falta alguien, la persona a le que tengo más mierda que mandarle a la mierda.
Yo. :)
En "El Silencio de los Inocentes" cuando el Dr. Lecter le hace un "rápido análisis" a Clarice, ésta le contesta algo así como "¿es usted capaz de enfocar tan aguda percepción hacia usted mismo?"
. Siempre me da risa esa parte. ¿Ustedes que creen? ¿Es Clarice ingenua al hacer esa pregunta? ¿O sabe muy bien la respuesta y simplemente responde con el mejor golpe que puede dar?
Yo. Yo tambien tengo mi adicción. Mis berrinches. Tambien soy mucho más vulnerable de lo que admito. ¿Con actitudes poco inteligentes? Aquí entre nos, yo creo que nadie ha logrado ver las cosas que yo he visto. Y esto me hace sentirme superior en cierta forma. Pero muchas veces me siento casi autista, y siento que hay cosas que cualquiera vería que yo no logro ver. O que logro ver despues de un lapso de tiempo que me parece ridículo. Pero quizá eso nos pasa a todos. Igual, eso demuestra que quandoque bonus dormitat Homerus, y que tengo mi talón de Aquiles también. ¿Carácter? Todavía me falta que jode. Me toca mandareso a la mierda a mi tambien. Y muchas cosas más. Algunas ustedes las saben. Otras ya las dije si no las sabían. Del resto se enterarán si deben enterarse. Como por ejemplo, de que soy un snob. Pero recuerden que lo cortés no quita lo valiente y no porque el gato ladre deja de ser gato. O sea, no caigan en falacias ad hominen.
¿Saben que puede resultar extremadamente placentero? No, no hablaba de eso. El momento cuando terminas de vomitar y sientes una paz corporal y espiritual incomparable. Eso sí, recuerda que si vomitaste algo, es porque estuvo dentro de ti.
Soy un espejo. Si me ves, ¿me rompo?
Monday, January 22, 2007
Close encounters of the Pird Kind
It was a long time ago, some day in my future. I was in a journey with my friends Me and me, the twins. We were part of a scientific research that tried to solve the mystery about the alleged existence of ancient dog-like, three-headed creatures known as Serbearers. It was our task to find physical evidence of it, with luck, a fossil. Our excavation was located in a dessert land unknown as Time; a remote region that has never appeared in any map yet has always existed. It's thought that it has been always uninhabited, because of its extremely harsh conditions and the lack of any life signals, and also there were legends that told the land was cursed. However, all evidence indicated that against all odds, if such creatures as the Serbearers ever existed, it had been there. But what we found digging under the heavy and slippery sands of Time was beyond our expectations. First, we found a big surface covered in white threads. To the touch, it felt like hair. We continued digging, and we could see a wall covered in a strange kind of black leather, with 4 strange symbols we couldn't understand, it seemed to be a word, maybe a name. As our excavation progressed, we could not believe what was being unveiled before our eyes, hidden under the sand. It was the giant effigy of a head, but it looked unbelievably real. It was not just the hair. The "leather" covering the wall (that was nothing but the forehead of the head) was actually human skin. Who could have made something like this? What kind of civilization created this "sculpture", so devotedly at our own image?
Our questions and conjectures were so many, and we needed so badly to know what knowledge and secrets were lying under these sands, that we never stopped until all the head was unveiled. The reason why we stopped digging wasn't that we were tired. Strangely enough, we were full of energy, more than ever in our lives, in spite of the hard work and haven't slept or eaten... we didn't know how long ago we had begun digging, time seemed not to exist in this land of Time. We stopped because there was nothing more than a head. Yes. Only dust, a giant head, Me, me and me. There it stood before us. The giant head of a man, of black skin and white hair, the eyes closed, as it was in the deepest slumber. The features were grotesque. Although young-like, looking at it you feel it was.. decrepit. It lips were thick and red, they looked bloody and that made me think of thousands human holocausts and blood, offered to appease this sort of deity. I was staring at this head, mesmerized, when a yelling of pain woke me up from the spell. It was me, and he suddenly looked amazingly haggard, the mark of a snakebite on his hand. A serpent? In this dead place? We looked around searching for it, but there was no sign of any snake in miles around. Or any other living being for that matter. Just the god head, Me, me and poor me, shrieking and twisting in agonizing pain. But something was different. "Do you notice that?" I asked Me. "you feel it too? like we're being watched?" Me said back at me. Then we heard a beautiful yet strange sound. It was more like a noise, and to our shock, it came from the head. The head was laughing. I turned around and saw its big white teeth, shining like diamonds. They were mirrors! I could see myself reflected in the giant teeth of the laughing mouth of a giant head. Was this a dream? I didn't remember falling asleep, and everything looked very real. Even the giant head. Especially the giant head. None of us moved. "Of course you're being watched" the head said, staring straight at us, with big reptilian red eyes. "I am watching you. I always have. Thanks for unearthing me, the sand of Time is very abrasive. Look what it did to my skin. It's totally black. It used to be as white as the most white you've never seen". "Thanks" it was me talking. I turned to see him. He wasn't in pain anymore. He looked quite good indeed. "Thank you for healing me. It was you, right? What bit me? We don't see any living creature here besides us... and you". "I did. I bit you and healed you too. I'm life and death, poison and cure, alpha and omega. I am the one who is". "Wait a minute" it was Me talking "are you saying you're God?". "No. I'm not saying it. I'm being it" the head answered. "You must have many questions. I can answer them. I will reveal the secrets of the Universe to you. Come inside me and you'll be fulfilled. But you must get in only one at the time. To know me, you must do it on your own. Alone. Just you and me".
You can be all the skeptical you want, but when you have a giant talking head telling you it's God and willing to share with you what humanity has been wanting to know since the Mind appeared on earth, wouldn't you be curious about it?
"I'll come in first", said me. "The head healed me, In the head I trust. I believe what it says. I know it's true. We're before the presence of God. This land isn't accursed. It's holy." The head opened his mouth open and stuck out a wet yellow tongue, like a carpet leading to a black cave. me stepped on it, and it took me inside the head, that swallowed him. He came out through one of the head's nostril. The expression on his face was one of indescribable terror. "NO! NO!! TEN THOUSAND TIMES NO!!" We were in shock. "What have you done to my brother, you freak?!" Me imprecated to the head. "I only answered his questions" said the head. Me took me in his arms, cupped his face between his hands "Hey brother, it's me, Me. Everything is fine. Please, me, listen to me. Whatever that thing has told you, don't believe it. It's a lie. A big lie. Let's get out of here, I'll take care of you as I have always done". "Get your hands off me! you're disgusting! I saw the truth! You are the only liar here. You hate me, Me. You've always hated me. And the worse is I'm just like you. We're just grotesque copies of each other! I HATE YOU! I HATE MYSELF! I HATE THE TRUTH AND THAT HEAD FOR SHOWING IT TO ME!". "Enough! How can you say that to me? We've lived so many things together. We've always loved each other, always looked after each other. We know each other as well as we know ourselves. Are you throwing all that to the garbage just because this thing told you it was a lie?! come on, man! what's wrong with you? Can't you listen to yourself?" "I didn't know myself. I do now. You don't know yourself either. But you're not the one to blame. Go inside the head. See what I saw, and you'll understand that I had to do this. Sorry, brother. I love you." Said this, me took his knife and cut open his throat. The blood gushed covering his and his brother's bodies. Me took the knife and ran towards the face, stabbing it in a furious attack, totally deranged. Each stab Me aimed into the head, filled the place with thousand of voices coming from the head's wounds. Voices, not blood, was the only thing that came out of it. "HURT!! HURTS!! STOP!!" I listened, and also "KILL ME!! KILL ME NOW PLEASE!!" then we listened me's voice "Come inside me, brother. I'm waiting for you". Me stopped in cold, dropped the knife. "I'm not gonna let you die, brother. I'll go inside this hell and bring you back. Hey freak! You'll answer my questions, any questions I have?" "I will. Gladly" said the head calmly. "Will you show me the secrets of life and death?" asked Me again. "I will. I'll show you anything you want me to" said the head, opening its cavernous mouth with mirror teeth again, swallowing Me. He came out through the head's second nostril.He was cackling like a madman. He rolled there laughing and laughing until he peed his pants. "Me, are you ok?" "ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhhhh ahhhh ahh ahahahahahahahahaha ah ahahahaaaahhah" I tried to break him out of his laughter, to no avail. Finally he laughed so hard that he couldn't breath anymore and collapsed asphixiated besides his brother, with a silly grin on his face.
The head stood there before me, unaffected. Me and me dead bodies lying there, one at my left, the other at my right. I looked at the head and it looked back at me in silence. "Your turn" it finally said. "Will you come inside me like your friends did?". "They were not my friends, and you should know that. They were just grotesque copies of me. But I will come inside you too. I only want to ask you a favor before I do. Would you please smile for me? I want to see my reflection on your teeth one last time before I die". The head laughed back at me. "Oh my, of course I will smile for you" and with this, the head smiled at me showing its teeth. But its smile seemed more the menacing grin of a beast showing its fangs. Then I ran and threw myself against the teeth. Instead of breaking them, I stepped into the other side of the mirror, inside the head. "Good try, but you're inside me anyway" said the head inside my head. "Yes. Show me the secrets of the Universe" I replied. "Ok. Look through my eyes". I walked towards what looked like 2 round, red windows, and saw the world through God's eyes. "Nice view" I said. "Indeed" said the head. Then I said "But I don't see yet anything that I haven't seen before. Please, unveil to me the mysteries of your Creation". "What? What are you talking about? I'm showing you. Look! Behold my greatness! Behold the wonders of my Universe!" the head seemed desperate, confused, alarmed. For the first time since we found it, it showed some emotion. It was pathetic though. "Well, I've seen. But I still have one question. Can you look through my eyes, please. I need to show you what I see before asking you the question I want to ask you.". "Sure I can. But there's nothing you can show me that I haven't seen". "Please, I insist". "Ok" the head obliged "Let's see "the wonders through your eyes"". "Please, look at my smile, do you see your reflection on my teeth?" "Yes, I do" "I want to know, where is the rest of your body? You don't have one" "The rest ... of my body?" "Yeah, where is it? Do you have a body?" Everything went dark then, because the head closed its eyes. "I can't answer your question. I don't know... I'll let you go, but I'd like to ask you for a favor" "What's that?" "I want you to keep searching, and come back to me if you ever find my body.". "I will. Gladly" I said, then blood filled the head, and dragged me down as it was expelled through its third nostril. I stood up and looked at its face again. There was something different now, I could read the symbols on its forehead. It was my name. "Those symbols you see in my forehead -said the head- That's my name. Call it when you want to come to me". While it talked, I caught a glimpse of my own face on its teeth. It was black, with red eyes and bloody lips and white hair. I turned around and walked away calmly, leaving behind me the head, whose calm has been replaced for a bitter expression of horror and terrible anguish. And its face... I could see now that it was my face. All the time.
Our questions and conjectures were so many, and we needed so badly to know what knowledge and secrets were lying under these sands, that we never stopped until all the head was unveiled. The reason why we stopped digging wasn't that we were tired. Strangely enough, we were full of energy, more than ever in our lives, in spite of the hard work and haven't slept or eaten... we didn't know how long ago we had begun digging, time seemed not to exist in this land of Time. We stopped because there was nothing more than a head. Yes. Only dust, a giant head, Me, me and me. There it stood before us. The giant head of a man, of black skin and white hair, the eyes closed, as it was in the deepest slumber. The features were grotesque. Although young-like, looking at it you feel it was.. decrepit. It lips were thick and red, they looked bloody and that made me think of thousands human holocausts and blood, offered to appease this sort of deity. I was staring at this head, mesmerized, when a yelling of pain woke me up from the spell. It was me, and he suddenly looked amazingly haggard, the mark of a snakebite on his hand. A serpent? In this dead place? We looked around searching for it, but there was no sign of any snake in miles around. Or any other living being for that matter. Just the god head, Me, me and poor me, shrieking and twisting in agonizing pain. But something was different. "Do you notice that?" I asked Me. "you feel it too? like we're being watched?" Me said back at me. Then we heard a beautiful yet strange sound. It was more like a noise, and to our shock, it came from the head. The head was laughing. I turned around and saw its big white teeth, shining like diamonds. They were mirrors! I could see myself reflected in the giant teeth of the laughing mouth of a giant head. Was this a dream? I didn't remember falling asleep, and everything looked very real. Even the giant head. Especially the giant head. None of us moved. "Of course you're being watched" the head said, staring straight at us, with big reptilian red eyes. "I am watching you. I always have. Thanks for unearthing me, the sand of Time is very abrasive. Look what it did to my skin. It's totally black. It used to be as white as the most white you've never seen". "Thanks" it was me talking. I turned to see him. He wasn't in pain anymore. He looked quite good indeed. "Thank you for healing me. It was you, right? What bit me? We don't see any living creature here besides us... and you". "I did. I bit you and healed you too. I'm life and death, poison and cure, alpha and omega. I am the one who is". "Wait a minute" it was Me talking "are you saying you're God?". "No. I'm not saying it. I'm being it" the head answered. "You must have many questions. I can answer them. I will reveal the secrets of the Universe to you. Come inside me and you'll be fulfilled. But you must get in only one at the time. To know me, you must do it on your own. Alone. Just you and me".
You can be all the skeptical you want, but when you have a giant talking head telling you it's God and willing to share with you what humanity has been wanting to know since the Mind appeared on earth, wouldn't you be curious about it?
"I'll come in first", said me. "The head healed me, In the head I trust. I believe what it says. I know it's true. We're before the presence of God. This land isn't accursed. It's holy." The head opened his mouth open and stuck out a wet yellow tongue, like a carpet leading to a black cave. me stepped on it, and it took me inside the head, that swallowed him. He came out through one of the head's nostril. The expression on his face was one of indescribable terror. "NO! NO!! TEN THOUSAND TIMES NO!!" We were in shock. "What have you done to my brother, you freak?!" Me imprecated to the head. "I only answered his questions" said the head. Me took me in his arms, cupped his face between his hands "Hey brother, it's me, Me. Everything is fine. Please, me, listen to me. Whatever that thing has told you, don't believe it. It's a lie. A big lie. Let's get out of here, I'll take care of you as I have always done". "Get your hands off me! you're disgusting! I saw the truth! You are the only liar here. You hate me, Me. You've always hated me. And the worse is I'm just like you. We're just grotesque copies of each other! I HATE YOU! I HATE MYSELF! I HATE THE TRUTH AND THAT HEAD FOR SHOWING IT TO ME!". "Enough! How can you say that to me? We've lived so many things together. We've always loved each other, always looked after each other. We know each other as well as we know ourselves. Are you throwing all that to the garbage just because this thing told you it was a lie?! come on, man! what's wrong with you? Can't you listen to yourself?" "I didn't know myself. I do now. You don't know yourself either. But you're not the one to blame. Go inside the head. See what I saw, and you'll understand that I had to do this. Sorry, brother. I love you." Said this, me took his knife and cut open his throat. The blood gushed covering his and his brother's bodies. Me took the knife and ran towards the face, stabbing it in a furious attack, totally deranged. Each stab Me aimed into the head, filled the place with thousand of voices coming from the head's wounds. Voices, not blood, was the only thing that came out of it. "HURT!! HURTS!! STOP!!" I listened, and also "KILL ME!! KILL ME NOW PLEASE!!" then we listened me's voice "Come inside me, brother. I'm waiting for you". Me stopped in cold, dropped the knife. "I'm not gonna let you die, brother. I'll go inside this hell and bring you back. Hey freak! You'll answer my questions, any questions I have?" "I will. Gladly" said the head calmly. "Will you show me the secrets of life and death?" asked Me again. "I will. I'll show you anything you want me to" said the head, opening its cavernous mouth with mirror teeth again, swallowing Me. He came out through the head's second nostril.He was cackling like a madman. He rolled there laughing and laughing until he peed his pants. "Me, are you ok?" "ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
The head stood there before me, unaffected. Me and me dead bodies lying there, one at my left, the other at my right. I looked at the head and it looked back at me in silence. "Your turn" it finally said. "Will you come inside me like your friends did?". "They were not my friends, and you should know that. They were just grotesque copies of me. But I will come inside you too. I only want to ask you a favor before I do. Would you please smile for me? I want to see my reflection on your teeth one last time before I die". The head laughed back at me. "Oh my, of course I will smile for you" and with this, the head smiled at me showing its teeth. But its smile seemed more the menacing grin of a beast showing its fangs. Then I ran and threw myself against the teeth. Instead of breaking them, I stepped into the other side of the mirror, inside the head. "Good try, but you're inside me anyway" said the head inside my head. "Yes. Show me the secrets of the Universe" I replied. "Ok. Look through my eyes". I walked towards what looked like 2 round, red windows, and saw the world through God's eyes. "Nice view" I said. "Indeed" said the head. Then I said "But I don't see yet anything that I haven't seen before. Please, unveil to me the mysteries of your Creation". "What? What are you talking about? I'm showing you. Look! Behold my greatness! Behold the wonders of my Universe!" the head seemed desperate, confused, alarmed. For the first time since we found it, it showed some emotion. It was pathetic though. "Well, I've seen. But I still have one question. Can you look through my eyes, please. I need to show you what I see before asking you the question I want to ask you.". "Sure I can. But there's nothing you can show me that I haven't seen". "Please, I insist". "Ok" the head obliged "Let's see "the wonders through your eyes"". "Please, look at my smile, do you see your reflection on my teeth?" "Yes, I do" "I want to know, where is the rest of your body? You don't have one" "The rest ... of my body?" "Yeah, where is it? Do you have a body?" Everything went dark then, because the head closed its eyes. "I can't answer your question. I don't know... I'll let you go, but I'd like to ask you for a favor" "What's that?" "I want you to keep searching, and come back to me if you ever find my body.". "I will. Gladly" I said, then blood filled the head, and dragged me down as it was expelled through its third nostril. I stood up and looked at its face again. There was something different now, I could read the symbols on its forehead. It was my name. "Those symbols you see in my forehead -said the head- That's my name. Call it when you want to come to me". While it talked, I caught a glimpse of my own face on its teeth. It was black, with red eyes and bloody lips and white hair. I turned around and walked away calmly, leaving behind me the head, whose calm has been replaced for a bitter expression of horror and terrible anguish. And its face... I could see now that it was my face. All the time.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
